Home

Nothing like going home for the holidays, right? Well, for me going home isn't a picnic. Not counting the packing up of things I will need for the next two weeks, it still sucks. I go home and don't feel loved. I know it sounds pretty drastic, but I feel like the unwanted uncle that just won't get a hint and leave. I prepare my parents months in advance that I am coming home for Christmas, letting them know the date and time I will be home. How often do I see my parents? Not very often.

My mom recently decided to clean out the attic. She told me via email that the attic is so clean. Over thanksgiving break, I came home to celebrate with my immediate family. I go upstairs into my room and there is junk everywhere. Old computer parts and monitors laying all over my bed. Boxes of garbage sitting on the floors and boxes that need to go to Goodwill obstruct my path. Old toys that needed to go to the garbage or back into storage cover my desk.

My mom assures that she will get her mess out of my room by the time I come home for Christmas. I came home for my grandpa's birthday party about a 7-10 days ago. The mess still remained in my room. I reminded my mom that I was coming home soon. She told me not to worry because she had big plans and wanted my room to look nice for when I came home today.

After a couple hours of packing up, I took the 3 minute trip to my house. On my arrival, I went to my room only to find it exactly as it had been on Thanksgiving. I called my mom at her work and all I said was "Hey mom." She immediately knew what I was going to be asking her where I was supposed to put my stuff since there was no room in my bedroom. She said that I had to "help her out." I told her that I would not be helping her out, said "Merry Christmas, Mom," and hung up the phone. My personal posessions still remain in my car, where they will remain until I have a place to stay.

This Christmas season isn't really about love for my family for me, as I don't see any love. I don't feel welcome in my own home. I hope everyone else's Christmas break is infinitely more jolly than mine. Merry Christmas.

12-16-06

My first attempt with video...yeah....

Finals...and miscellaneous

I have some confessions. I like to be pretend I am more organized than I am. I have finals next week and everything is due this week. I have planned out everything and when I have to do it. However, I am getting tired of writing papers, so I just say, I'll do it later. This upsets me immensely because I am a stage manager. I am supposed to be very organized. And, in the chaos of this week, I was late to my own production meeting for The Claire Donaldson 8 in 48 Short Play Festival. I feel horrible because RJ seems really angry. I didn't go into the scene shop today because I have other things. People should just be understanding, especially when they ask me to choose between doing homework and working in the shop where I don't get paid and am just volunteering my time.
I saw The Curious Savage last night at Roosevelt High School. It was fantastic. I even cried. Very seldom to get to simply enjoy the magic of theatre. For once it was nice to be able to sit down and just enjoy it. Granted, I was still plagued with the thespian syndrome: picking apart shows and tyring to figure out how they did all of the technical work and what I would do differently.
The idea of finals is ridiculous. Five tests all in the same two days? How can you do their duty and concentrate on all of their classes when everything is coming around the same time. It would be better if there was a staggered final exam schedule. 2 this week, 3 next week, rather than 5 within a two day period. Just a thought. If I were a professor, I would want it that way.
We started rehearsals for Kin: the trial of Carrie Buck, and it is going to be really fun. I am looking forward to stage managing a show with an "adult" actor. It should be an interesting experience, especially since this particular "adult" normally is a director. It should be interesting to observe.
The other day we had a funeral for Audrey the Beast, my former car. It was a marvelous service that gave me closure and peace of mind. It was officiated by my good friend Brianna. After the procession from Augustana to my house, we began by laying our hands on Audrey and saying a fond memory of her. We then sang all four verses of Amazing Grace from The Lutheran Book of Worship (provided by Jacinta). It really was touching. We ended the funeral with a dedication ceremony of the new car. (As every death is a new beginning.) In memory of Audrey the Beast, I have decided to name the new car Audrey II. I think it is very fitting.
I am looking to get more exposure to my blog. If anyone knows of any ways to do this, let me know. What does my content need to be in order for this to happen. I don't think there are many people out there reading this. Let me know if you are out there, readers!

Another dorky quiz. I'm sorry but they are so damn fun.

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie about the songs (they can be funny if you just leave them)

1. What's my mood like right now?
It's the end of the world as we know it - Discount

2. How's tomorrow going to be for me?
Believe it - Bad Religion

3. What kind of person am I?
The Biggest Lie - Elliot Smith

4. Am I loved?
(It must have been ol')Santa Claus - Harry Connick, Jr.

5. How can I achieve my highest potential?
Questions 67 and 68 - Chicago

6. What should I do with my life?
Heart cooks brain - Modest Mouse

7. Is everything really going to be alright in the end?
You can close your eyes - James Taylor

8. What is my best quality?
Chim Chim Cher-ee - Mannheim Steamroller

9. How does my social life look?
Reach for the Sun - Polyphonic Spree

10. What's the meaning of life?
It ain't me babe - Bob Dylan

11. What do people think of me?
Cello song - Nick Drake

12. Would I make a good lover?
Wishing you were hear - Chicago

13. How crazy am I?
Learning the ropes - John fuckin' Williams....biatch

14. Will I have a good life in general?
I am missing - Dashboard Confessional

15. Can (insert name here) ever really love me?
Marching bands of Manhattan - Death Cab for Cutie

16. Can me and (insert name here) ever be more than friends?
Girls - Beastie Boys

17. What's going to happen to me this week?
Man of constant sorrow - Soggy Bottom Boys

18. Where will I be a year from now?
Landed - Ben Folds

19. What is my fondest wish?
Rock rock (til' you drop) - Def Leppard

20. What is the love of my life doing at this very moment?
Don't be the bunny - Urinetown: the musical

21. How did my parents meet?
Don't know when, but a day is gonna come - Bright eyes

22. How will I die?
The autumn wind is a pirate - NFL films

23. What song will be played at my funeral?
Whatsername - Green Day

24. What will happen after I die?
Whole lotta love - Led Zepplin

25. What will I dream about tonight?
Manic Depression - Jimi Hendrix

26. What should I be working on right now?
We can get down - Joey McIntyre

27. What's my roommate up to currently?
I wanna be your lover - Bob Dylan

28. What did I do last weekend?
Unwanted - Avril Lavigne

29. Describe me.
Structureless - Andrew Kightlinger

30. What does my music player think of me?
Somewhere over the rainbow - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole

THAT'S FUCKED UP.

MY NEW CAR