Home

Nothing like going home for the holidays, right? Well, for me going home isn't a picnic. Not counting the packing up of things I will need for the next two weeks, it still sucks. I go home and don't feel loved. I know it sounds pretty drastic, but I feel like the unwanted uncle that just won't get a hint and leave. I prepare my parents months in advance that I am coming home for Christmas, letting them know the date and time I will be home. How often do I see my parents? Not very often.

My mom recently decided to clean out the attic. She told me via email that the attic is so clean. Over thanksgiving break, I came home to celebrate with my immediate family. I go upstairs into my room and there is junk everywhere. Old computer parts and monitors laying all over my bed. Boxes of garbage sitting on the floors and boxes that need to go to Goodwill obstruct my path. Old toys that needed to go to the garbage or back into storage cover my desk.

My mom assures that she will get her mess out of my room by the time I come home for Christmas. I came home for my grandpa's birthday party about a 7-10 days ago. The mess still remained in my room. I reminded my mom that I was coming home soon. She told me not to worry because she had big plans and wanted my room to look nice for when I came home today.

After a couple hours of packing up, I took the 3 minute trip to my house. On my arrival, I went to my room only to find it exactly as it had been on Thanksgiving. I called my mom at her work and all I said was "Hey mom." She immediately knew what I was going to be asking her where I was supposed to put my stuff since there was no room in my bedroom. She said that I had to "help her out." I told her that I would not be helping her out, said "Merry Christmas, Mom," and hung up the phone. My personal posessions still remain in my car, where they will remain until I have a place to stay.

This Christmas season isn't really about love for my family for me, as I don't see any love. I don't feel welcome in my own home. I hope everyone else's Christmas break is infinitely more jolly than mine. Merry Christmas.